The Miracle
by samsolace
Summary: My version of what could possibly happen in 317 tomorrow. Derek is devastated. Meredith is dead. Will she stay that way? Or will the love of Meredith's family bring her back?


**Tues. 2-20-07 – I can not get this out of my head even though it has been almost a week. Obsess much? I am going to write it down in hopes of resolving it a little. One chapter story. Please review.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

The Miracle

Derek slumped in the cold, hospital hall. The familiar sights, sounds and smells of the trauma rooms at Seattle Grace Hospital were all blurred together. Every thing was jumbled in his mind and meaningless.

_Meredith._

Scalding hot tears burned his eyes and etched acid paths down his face. His body, in contrast, was icy cold. His dark blue scrubs were still wet from the ocean – the black, bitter cold ocean of pain. His lips were blue and his teeth chattered, his hair a wild profusion of curls all over his head. Derek's body shuddered in disbelief, or perhaps pain, or was it arctic cold? Were they all the same thing? He didn't know. Everything was surreal.

_Meredith._

Before, he could count. The siren screamed, but he could count. One, two, three, four, five. Breathe. He had a job. Something to cling to. One, two, three, four, five. Breathe. One, two ... He did CPR for a child, rather than for an adult because she was so tiny. Her color _had_ improved from intern-scrubs blue to pale blue. That _was_ an improvement. Now he couldn't count. They wouldn't let him. He wanted to scream. Change jobs.

_Meredith._

The Chief was with her – and Bailey and Burke – not Derek, her knight in shining whatever. Derek was in the hallway squatted down, doubled up, the pain in his gut intensifying, the fear intensifying. Her face was so blue. Derek's eyes darkened to indigo black and his pupils seemed permanently dilated. He fought the urge to vomit.

_Meredith._

_When did I last see her with the little girl? How long was it till I realized she was in the Sound? It was longer than ten minutes, because Bailey asked me about her. How much longer? No, she tied off that artery in that man's leg. So that took time. So, how long was she in the Sound? How long in the icy depths – the icy, airless, dark, twisting depths? Was it ten minutes? Fifteen? Twenty? How long, how long?_

_Meredith._

_My Meredith is frozen, not just cold, frozen. My Meredith isn't breathing. My Meredith has no heart beat. My _faerie _girl is dead._

_Nooo! People have come back from worse. Please God, let her come back. Why didn't I try to find her earlier? Why did I take care of all those strangers while Meredith drowned!? She must have been so scared ... in the black ... in the ice water... all alone. No one heard her. No one helped her. Oh God, please don't take her from me. Why am I always LATE! TOO LATE! Oh God, oh God, oh God._

_Meredith._

In his peripheral vision Derek saw legs in dark blue scrubs approach. Mark Sloane sat in the floor next to him, his face full of sorrow and regret. Derek and Mark sat in matching slumps, one next to the other. Derek felt a fleeting sliver of gladness that Mark was there, all their differences set aside, and then it was gone. Mark's strong, warm surgeon's hand gripped Derek's arm in brotherly sympathy, imparting as much strength and support as he could. Derek was curled up in as close to a fetal position as a grown man would allow himself. His feet were flat to the floor with his knees drawn to his chest, his arms resting on them, his head bowed.

_Meredith._

He knew they were there just beyond the glass doors – the interns, Meredith's family. They were removed. Removed from him, doubly removed from Meredith. He gritted his teeth. They should be with Meredith. So should he.

_Meredith._

Addison came out of the trauma room. Derek was confused. When had she gone in? She said something to him but he couldn't get it. What? He stood. Mark stood with him.

_Meredith._

"Derek, it has been over twenty minutes and there is still no heartbeat." Addison said slowly and clearly with pain in her eyes. Derek loved Meredith. She'd known it since Christmas. He was going to be devastated by this. It hurt her to see Derek destroyed. "Meredith has been down too long. Even with the hypothermia, she's been down too long."

"Wh...," Derek tried to formulate coherency. His stomach heaved. Tears poured down his face and he reflexively shook his head "no".

_Meredith! Meredith! Meredith!_

"Derek, I have to tell Meredith's friends the news. Do you hear me? Meredith is most likely not going to come back." Addison looked at Mark for help.

For once, Mark didn't know what to say. He just stayed by Derek waiting. Derek gulped and tried to pull himself together. They both watched Addison go through the glass doors to speak to the interns on the other side.

_Meredith._

Mark and Derek watched Addison talking to the interns. It was like watching a silent movie – all picture, no sound. George O'Malley was sobbing his pain. He kept his head low and repeatedly wiped his eyes with his hand. Izzie Stevens looked pale and composed. Addison's news only causing her to become very still. Alex Karev's handsome, chiseled face grew hard with strain and white lines bracketed his mouth. Cristina Yang, Meredith's best friend, Cristina Yang was obviously scared to death, tears staining her face. At Addison's news her face became furious and resolute. She nodded. She said something to the other interns. They all nodded in agreement.

_Nothing makes sense,_ thought Derek. _Am I losing it? I can't feel most of my body and I don't think I'm thinking. At least ... I'm not thinking ... right._

_Meredith._

Cristina led the way through the glass doors. The others followed, all of them ignoring Montgomery as if she were no more than a gnat. Derek couldn't wait any more. He tried to step forward to push Meredith's door open, but Sloane stepped in his way, trying to spare Shepherd the pain of witnessing the failure of the heroic efforts to save his girl.

_Meredith_.

That distraction was enough to gain Cristina entry to trauma bay one, followed by the rest of Meredith's family. They all silently took in the sight of Meredith lying on the table, naked, wrapped in warming blankets, a ventilator tube in her mouth, and an E.R. Doc giving chest compressions. She already had a central line and they could see that the E.R. Team was pushing warm fluids. In an effort to warm her they were also doing a continuous bladder lavage and peritoneal lavage. The heart monitor stubbornly showed no change. Her little face was still and cold in death.

Shepherd, weaving in anguish, entered behind the interns and crossed his arms over his chest, trying to keep his heart from exploding in agony. Mark stood stoically just behind him. He kept a hand under Shepherd's elbow.

_Meredith._

Drs. Bailey, Burke and Webber were speaking in hushed tones together in the corner. Burke was shaking his head.

"What is going on?" Cristina demanded.

"You shouldn't be here, Yang." Webber frowned.

"Cristina, all of you, get out," said Dr. Bailey, both compassionate and strict at the same time.

"Tell us, we're her family," said George. He touched Meredith's icy hand, ignoring Bailey's order.

_Meredith._

"Cristina, we've tried for over twenty minutes to resuscitate her. There is still no heartbeat. Her temperature is 81º," Burke felt ripped down the middle by the pain and tears on Cristina's face.

"Try again," Cristina demanded.

The E.R. Doc was getting tired and was about to hand off to someone else when Alex stepped up and took over compressions.

"Cristina ..." Burke began.

"TRY AGAIN," Cristina was vehement.

George positioned himself and took over ventilation, keeping a sharp eye on the monitors. He brushed Mer's hair back with one finger and more tears rained down his face. He glanced at Shepherd.

_Meredith, where are you? Please come back to me. Please. I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused. I'm sorry I was such an ass. I'm sorry I wasted so much time. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you ... again. _Derek saw nothing but the still little face of his Meredith.

_Meredith._

"Cristina ..." Burke was interrupted again.

"She can still make it. We can't give up. We looked it up on Cristina's BlackBerry," Izzie held up the small wireless device, "People can survive an immersion of up to an hour in super cold water, if resuscitation techniques are used immediately after they are brought out of the water. And the lower salination of the Sound versus the ocean will help. People have revived after hours of CPR and ventilation and normalization of the core body temperature with no lasting side effects."

"Yes, Stevens, we know. It is, however, an incredible long shot," Bailey tried to get through Stevens' crazy wall of hardened optimism. Izzie ignored Bailey and started helping with the lavages.

"You don't get it," the Chief tried, "You all need to ..."

"No, you don't get it," said Alex, "Meredith Grey looks like a bantam weight, but I've seen her take punches that would K.O. a heavy weight. I've seen her get back up time and time again. We have to hold on. If it were one of us, she'd hold on, she'd make us hold on."

Addison watched the determined forceful compressions Karev was performing and knew he'd stay till he dropped. Alex loved Meredith. She wasn't sure what that meant.

_Meredith._

Cristina held Meredith's face in her clever hands. She glanced at Shepherd, meeting the anguish in his eyes and sharing her own. Mark wrapped his arm around Shepherd's shoulders, imparting warmth and strength to his brother. Cristina leaned down and looked into Meredith's quiet face.

"Meredith you are my person, you can't die. I...," the words fought their way out past a cold knot in Cristina's throat, "love you ... there, I said it." Burke's sorrow for Cristina and Shepherd ratcheted up another notch. Cristina loved Meredith.

_Meredith, come back, come back, come back. _A huge icy void was closing over Derek. He fought to breathe in the sudden airlessness. George's burnt out eyes met Derek's and they managed to breathe together. George loved Meredith.

"But, don't think I'm going all soft and girly. Meredith, you have to come back. I have news. Burke and I, we're getting married. We're engaged. And you have to be here to save me from my mother ... and his mother. They're going to drive me crazy. What am I going to do without you watching my back? Do you hear me?"

_Meredith._

"The one day ... the one day I don't have your back!" Suddenly, Cristina was furious again.

"Yang," Chief Webber began to order them out of the room, ready to enforce his command with security if need be.

"No, Chief, Meredith is dark and twisty!" declared Cristina. The Chief and Bailey looked at each other confused.

"She's always been dark and twisty, with the famous mother with the Alzheimer's thing," said Izzie, replacing cool blankets with warm. Meredith's temperature was up to 83º.

"The no father thing – dark and twisty," inserted George, squeezing in even beats.

"Yeah, the tequila and the inappropriate men thing," added Alex, never faltering in his rhythmic compressions.

"The falling for the married attending thing. Meredith is dark and twisty, Chief, and dark and twisty people fight, they endure. They survive. Meredith is a dark and twisty girl, and dark and twisty girls can come back from the dead, if anyone can." Cristina announced desperately.

"Shepherd, Tinkerbell, here, thinks Meredith can still hear us. I don't think so, but in case I'm wrong and she's right, I'm talking to her," Cristina's face was contorted with pain.

_Meredith._

"Talk to her," George said, looking at Shepherd, breath still heaving with tears, "The Mer-Bear would fight angels to get back to you."

"Baby boy is right. Talk to her, Shepherd. If there is one thing I know about Meredith Grey, it's that she will do anything for you – maybe she'll even come back from the dead," Alex demanded Shepherd's response. Montgomery glanced between the desperation on Karev's face and Derek's face and looked away.

"Dr. Shepherd," said Izzie softly, "Derek."

Everyone looked at him. Shepherd's teeth were chattering uncontrollably. His head pounded with an outrageous headache. His skin had an unhealthy grey tinge. Derek's unfocused eyes saw only his precious, lovely girl. His heart was dead, if she was dead. Scorching tears fell slowly from his black eyes. His arms were wrapped convulsively around himself.

"Meredith," he whispered. The tortured agony on his face made Bailey gasp. She fought to stay professional.

_Meredith._

"Nurse," Bailey ordered, "get Dr. Shepherd one of those warm blankets. He must have been in the water too."

At her words Sloane eased Derek onto a stool next to Meredith. He checked Derek's vitals and considered putting an IV in his friend for shock. He signaled a nurse. Shepherd never noticed the IV or the blanket.

He laid his face down next to his pretty girl's. Derek gently kissed his lover's cold alabaster cheek and stroked her hair. The rest of the room, hazy for Derek at best, now vanished entirely. All there was, all there ever would be, was Derek and his Meredith, together in love. His face softened to an expression of overwhelming devotion and adoration.

Cristina sobbed at the sight and turned away for a minute. Burke had to go to her then, wrapping his arms around her to comfort her. Webber and Bailey saw that no one was hysterical and their patient was getting the best of care so they let the rules bend completely backwards. The interns were right, Meredith Grey was family. Webber was wise enough to understand that in order to minimize the damage to his interns, he had to let them finish this with Grey, one way or the other.

Izzie calmly replaced warm blankets for cool blankets; warm, full bags for empty bags. She held Mer's cold feet to her chest and willed life force energy back into Meredith's tiny frame. She prayed for divine intervention and for Denny's help.

_Denny, help Meredith come back to us. Please help her, help us. _Izzie loved Meredith.

_Meredith._

"Meredith, it's Derek. I'm here with you. You're not alone, baby, I found you and I brought you home to Grace. All your family is here, sweet girl. They all love you," Derek's face was becoming calmer as he murmured to his love in a barely audible voice, "I love you ... I've been in love with you forever ... I loved you from the first moment I saw you. You caught my interest. You were such a beautiful tiny _faerie_, and then you drank a straight tequila shooter, without flinching. I knew you were the girl for me." Derek's smile was utterly heartbreaking.

Bailey sighed and said the Lord's prayer in her heart, asking for mercy for this man who had saved so many lives in his career. Couldn't God spare the young woman he loved? She too had saved lives. Have mercy. Have mercy on them both.

George switched places with Alex, taking over compressions. Derek continued to murmur his love to Meredith. A strange peace descended.

"Dr. Bailey, Dr. Webber, we will do what is necessary to revive Meredith. We will not abandon hope until her core temperature is warm again, as per protocol for emergency treatment of cold water drowning," said Izzie firmly, looking at the BlackBerry in her hand, "Okay?"

Webber sighed. Sometimes he thought he was too old to be wrangling all these emotional, hot headed, hot blooded, interns. Stevens, however , was right.

"Yes, as per protocol, Stevens."

Everyone settled into the room or back to their work. Time moved, but in a crazy dimensional way. Numbness helped most of Meredith's people cope. Burke and Sloane both took turns compressing Meredith's chest. Neither wanted to leave. Bailey and the Chief went in and out of the room, sadly carrying on other duties as needed. Montgomery shook her head in sorrow. She touched Derek's back with a gentle hand and left to check on her patients.

Derek was lost in a soft wonder world with his girl, breathing his life breath on her face. He was almost floating out of his body to meet her. He could almost see her, he could certainly sense her. He knew his Meredith was close.

_Meredith, I love you._

_...Derek?_

"Hey, what was that! Get the paddles, get the paddles!" Alex who was compressing again, commanded, "Charge to 300 ... clear! Sloane, get Shepherd off of her. Clear!" Meredith's body convulsed with the shock. Karev paused and stared at the screen. Everyone held their breath and stared at the screen.

"Nothing ... wait. What was that?" Cristina cried.

"She has a heartbeat! Come on Meredith, you can do it." Izzie cheered, "Her temp is up to 87º."

Burke rapped out orders for meds and protocols.

Meredith's body began spontaneously shivering in one long pulse. Her chest expanded with air. Everyone held their positions not wanting to jinx anything, as silly as that sounded. Izzie replaced blankets again. Warm lavages continued. Alex kept grip on the defibrillator paddles.

Derek kissed his girl's slowly warming cheek, "Are you back, baby?" Derek's calm of the last few hours began to break. His body heaved with sobbing tears, "Have you come back to me? Please come back to me."

Time dragged again as they worked to get her body temperature up and keep her heart rate and breathing stable. The shivering, which had started in pulses was now constant as her temperature rose.

"Meredith, Meredith." Derek's aching, vacillating, hoping, despairing, heart called to his love.

" ... d ...," were her lips forming words?

Meredith opened her beautiful light green eyes and saw her Derek crying.

"Don't cry, Derek," she mumbled incoherently. No one understood her, but everyone understood Meredith was alive!

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" Cristina sobbed into Burke's chest.

Alex grabbed George and hugged him in the tightest bear hug he could manage. They couldn't seem to get their breath.

Izzie, who had not shed a tear till now, burst out crying and stood at the end of Mer's bed hugging Mer's feet to her bosom.

Sloane and the Chief grinned in relief and shook hands with each other. Bailey said the Lord's prayer one more time in her heart in deepest gratitude for this miracle.

Derek was flooded with a relief so intense it hurt. His chest felt too tight. He panted to get enough air. And he couldn't stop touching Meredith. He kissed her hand and face over and over. She was real. She was safe. She was alive! Derek looked his soul mate in the eyes and rejoiced for the miracle of his Meredith.

**That is my one-shot for 317. I sure hope you all like it. Please review it for me and let me know what you think. Thank you. sam**


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